Mary and Max – the love candy and forgiveness

I just saw this movie and I thought it was excellent. Every minute had something ironic yet sad. I enjoyed fishing for those little jokes hidden for example in the title of the book Mr Ravioli read in the corner or in the message board of the beggar on the street. Intelligence peppered the whole movie and the film displayed an incredible portrayal of emotions and love. It is a masterpiece.

Shortly, this movie is about the unexpected and weird relationship of a 44 year old obese, mentally disturbed jewish man in New York and an 8 year old prematurely depressed schoolgirl from Australia. They share one common goal in life: they want a friend, they want love. Well, they have other common interests too: chocolate and sweets.

Therefore it is not surprising that a candy brings the first major turn in their story. Max gets a heart-shaped candy from a kid while waiting in the bus stop, and he sends it to Mary. She just lost her father and standing by the grave she looks at the long travelled candy heart that says: “Love yourself first. “ This is a moment of transformation for the young girl and even her mood ring changes its color instantly. She is enlightened for a second and starts to see things differently. This temporary realization brings love into her life, she gets married and all seems to point towards a happy ending. It is such a commonplace, yet it is still so powerful: Love yourself first. 

As I blogged about it previously in the post on the heart chakra, it is essential for our mental and physical health, and to follow this advice is the stepping stone towards our spiritual development. Yet it is so hard to accept ourselves, especially when we see our imperfections like Mary saw her "poo-colored" birthmark on her forehead.

This leads us to the second turn in their story. Mary hurt unintentionally but deeply Max’s feelings. She needs forgiveness, but it is hard to give. Max finally decides to write her a letter: “The hurt felt like when I accidentally stapled my lips together. The reason I forgive you is because you are not perfect. You are imperfect, and so am I. All humans are imperfect, even the man outside my apartment who litters.”

This is such a wonderful explanation of the steps on the spiritual path. First you shall love yourself and accept yourself the way you are. Then you can love others, and if needed, forgive them, because you see and accept that they are not perfect either. We are all the same.

It is just grotesque that we need claymation figures to teach us.